Learning To Do Things For Myself

“You should give a f*ck. You really should. But only about things that set your soul on fire. Save your f*cks for magical sh*t.” – Unknown

One thing that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember is doing things for me and because I want to. I was often easily influenced by what I thought other people would like me to do or what would seem ‘successful’ to them. Sometimes this came from feeling inadequate in a relationship but more often than not it was an imaginary standard I’d created that I told myself other people expected from me. In reality, this was probably never the case but hey, hindsight is a great thing, right?

The truth is, when I am living my day-to-day life I am incredibly happy with what I’m doing and how things are going. It’s only when I take a peek inside someone else’s life that I begin to think I’m not doing well. That overwhelming fear of wasting time creeps up on me and often leads to me sabotaging things or viewing them as less important aspects of my life. I soon realised that this was something I really needed to work on.

Just because something you’re doing or something you enjoy isn’t to the taste of someone else, it doesn’t make sense to demean said thing in your own mind.

Realising your own worth is important and something that I’m constantly talking about on here but respecting what ‘makes you tick’ means accepting and appreciating your own goals, interests and ultimately- your happiness.

We all seek respect and validation whether we admit it or not but we’re also all guilty of acknowledging that same respect from ourselves. Sometimes this can be the most important form of validation. Ask yourself: “Am I happy?” and if the answer is no (even if people from the outside see you as having everything) make some god damn changes.

I promised myself that this year I would focus on myself and what it is that I want to achieve and so whenever I am now faced with a decision, I’m going to base my response purely on my own thoughts. Although this may sound incredibly selfish, I think it’s important for us all to do this and stop doing things and accepting behaviours just for approval and friendships.


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Anticallacy is a self improvement blog, focusing on Self Love and ethical living, with some poetry and musings thrown in for good measure. I hope you’re inspired today by some of my words.

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